Crosbi: 2 Months

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here I am again, super late in getting Crosbi's monthly update posted. So she'll be three months old a week from today, that's alright. Better late than never! I can't be too hard on myself these days. I only have a couple more weeks before I return to work, so I'm spending each second that Crosbi is awake cuddling and playing. Yes, I'm returning to work. Just months ago I would have said that I would have no problem going back. I've always been pretty career/goal driven. But a sweet little girl changed all of that. Now I'm begging time to stop. I don't want to be away from Crosbi for a second. I am going to be one terribly sad mommy soon. Praise God it's just part-time for awhile. I'm sure I'll be writing more on that in the weeks to come.

For now, I'll celebrate this special Valentine's Day with my 2 month old baby girl. She's getting so big!

• Weighing 13.1 pounds and 24 inches long (at 8 weeks), my little stinker is growing by the minute! 
• She has just started to laugh out loud and it melts my heart. I will do any dance or silly voice to get her to laugh. I have no shame. Her giggles are the best sound in the world.
• She's getting better at holding her head up and will sit in her Bumbo seat for a few minutes. 
• She likes to see what is going on around her. No holding her like a baby, she needs to be able to look around. 
• Still not much of a crier (thank goodness!), she is making her voice heard when she's angry now. She's not afraid to yell. It cracks me up. 
• Crosbi sleeps 9+ hours straight each night. To my mommy readers out there, please don't hate me! I have to thank the Miracle Blanket for sure, but I'm also really blessed to just have a good sleeper. 
• She loves other babies (including the baby she sees in the mirror) and small kiddos. I think she's going to be pretty social!

My sweet girl is growing so fast.

Wishing you all a Valentine's Day filled with lots of love (thanks Shutterfly!)

*Shutterfly gives you a $10 coupon when you blog about projects you make on their site. Not a bad deal! 

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Imagination Library

I could write for days on why I love living in Tennessee and how I'm thrilled to be raising my little girl in the South. I secretly hope she says things like "ya'll" and you better believe we'll be teaching her "Yes Ma'am and No Sir."

One of the perks of living in Tennessee is that it's the home of Dolly Parton. No, not because we can go to Dollywood, but because of the incredible book program she has for children living in the state. In the mid 90s, Dolly created Imagination Library, a reading program that provides one book each month for children in Tennessee ages 0-5.

The vision:

In 1996, Dolly Parton launched an exciting new effort, Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, to benefit the children of her home county in East Tennessee, USA. Dolly's vision was to foster a love of reading among her county’s preschool children and their families by providing them with the gift of a specially selected book each month. By mailing high quality, age-appropriate books directly to their homes, she wanted children to be excited about books and to feel the magic that books can create. Moreover, she could insure that every child would have books, regardless of their family’s income.

Signing up was so easy. I just entered Crosbi's birth date and address. That's it!

Crosbi received her first book this month. I know I was definitely more excited than she was, but I'm sure that will change in the months and years to come. Todd and I already enjoy reading to Crosbi. We can't wait until she's picking out her favorite books and jumping on our laps to have them read to her. 

So we say thanks, Dolly! Crosbi and I are very excited to build our very own Imagination Library!

 

For more information about Dolly's Imagination Library and/or to bring the program to your state, check out her website.

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The In Between

At 9:18pm last night, Crosbi officially turned eight weeks old. I honestly don't know how two months have already gone by. In some ways it feels like C has been here for months, but at the same time, it feels like we just met. I guess that's because we're still getting to know each other. That's a hard concept. You would think since I carried her in my belly for nine months I would have her completely figured out, but instead each day I'm learning more about her. It's funny. She's the love of my life and still a stranger.

Right now I feel like I'm caught in the in between. I'm a mom, yet I don't really know what I'm doing, so that title seems unmerited. I'm not pregnant, but I still have 15 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, so my body doesn't feel like my own. I'm spending the days soaking up my daughter, yet slightly missing the creative and social outlet of my job. I guess I don't really know who I am. I don't write this to gain sympathy. It's not a complaint. It's just a new way of life that I'm trying to get the hang of. The weeks immediately following Crosbi's birth were solely about survival. Now that I have a bit of routine (if you can call it that), I'm more aware of my new life. When they say, "A Baby Changes Everything." They're not kidding. Having a baby is absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done. There are moments during the day when I want to go in the other room and scream in my pillow. But at the same time, being a mom is the most incredible thing I've ever done. After a day of nursing, changing diapers (I caught poop in my hand yesterday), peek-a-boo, etc., I feel like I haven't accomplished a thing. But then I catch a glimpse of Crosbi in her crib as she's going down for the night and I'm so proud I could burst. Such a strange thing, motherhood.

Some days, like today, are challenging. Crosbi is just like her dad when it comes to naps. She refuses to sleep during the day. The hard part is that I can see how tired she is, but she fights sleep. Thankfully she sleeps well during the night. I'm learning I have to pick my battles. Patience has never been a strength of mine. It looks like God is going to change that.

So here I am, eight weeks into my new identity. I'm learning a lot. That's an understatement. I'm learning more than I have in my entire life. I'm learning more about my daughter each day, but more than that, I'm learning about myself. The good, the bad and the ugly. I'm learning I can't do this alone.

I can't end this post without a picture of my Tink! Seriously, I have the cutest baby in the whole world.

And just to keep it real, I have to add this photo of Crosbi laughing. It's horribly blurry, but it makes me smile. I love that girl.

As soon as I find the time, I'll be back with Crosbi's two month update!

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Crosbi: 1 Month

Our little girl is getting so big! She's technically 7 weeks old today, but we're still shy of two months, so I'm still good on calling this a one month post, right? I remember thinking about my maternity leave and how much spare time I would have to document every move Crosbi made. That's not so much the case. Between diaper changes and feedings, I don't have a lot of spare time. Thankfully C cooperated in a one-month photo shoot. Well, semi-cooperated. She was done about five minutes in.

Crosbi Adelle's One Month Stats:

*Weighing in at 11 pounds, 13 ounces and 23.5 inches long.
*She's starting to smile! It's so fun, but still rare. We take what we can get.
*She's getting really good at holding her head up. She thinks she's such a big girl.
*She's sleeping great at night. Typically 6-7 hours straight after daddy sings to her.
*She loves Mr. Lion on her activity mat.
*Bath time is her favorite.
*Already a music lover. Chris Tomlin seems to be her preference these days.
*Nicknames: "Tink" (began as stinker, then stink and eventually just became Tink). Todd calls her "Monk" short for monkey. Poor girl. We call her by nicknames so much that I had to stop and think about what her real name was once. I lost mommy points that day.

It's hard to believe that 7 weeks ago I was in labor, about to meet my little girl. Time is flying!

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Looking Back: A Recap of 2011

What a difference a year can make! I don't think my life could have changed as much in one year as it did in 2011. I'm a new person. I'm a mom. It still doesn't seem possible. Below is a little recap of the past life changing, crazy 365 days.

January

Last January began in a funk. I was dealing with some personal issues that I was ready to leave behind. I knew that 2011 had to be different. It was in January that I took a stand and made some changes. It was also when I realized I wanted to think about someone other than myself. I wanted a family. But that would happen a little later...

In January I had the honor of hosting a baby shower for Allison, one of my closest friends. It was so fun celebrating her and the upcoming arrival of her precious little guy, Brody. I decided to get more practice in the kitchen. My new food processor came in handy. I attempted to make some home decor changes too. I was kicking off the year in full speed.

February

Todd and I hadn't fully committed to the idea of starting a family, so we dreamed of other ways to spend our money. A lake home seemed like a great idea. Keeping with the lake theme, I continued my home decor projects and gave our guest bathroom a makeover. I didn't do a lot of my own writing in February, but I managed to give some of my favorite bloggers praise.

March

March was a big month. Todd and I took a much needed trip to Seattle. Little did we know I was pregnant the entire time. Although, some crazy cravings during our layover in Denver on the way home tipped us off. I found out I was pregnant the morning of March 10th, but it would be several weeks before anyone else would know. 

April

No blog posts or photos in April. It's almost as if April didn't exist because I was in such a fog. A certain little baby girl was making me extremely sick. I was in survival mode, but barely surviving. It was awful, but definitely worth it.

May

Another month of sickness, but I was able to make one exciting blog post. We finally announced to everyone that we were pregnant. Todd and I thought we might explode if we didn't get the news out. Finally we could talk openly about our little peanut. 

June

Another exciting month. I was finally starting to show and we found out the sex of Baby S. A little girl! We shared the big news at a special reveal party with family in Missouri. While Todd and I both thought we wanted a boy, it would only be a matter of time before we discovered God knew best all along. How silly of me to think otherwise. We wouldn't trade our precious girl for anything in the world.  June proved to be a month of spiritual growth as I realized the great responsibility of raising a godly young woman. 

July

I was still stressing about motherhood, but planning the nursery was a great distraction. Celebrating Suz's 30th birthday helped get my mind off things as well. Such a fun outdoor movie party. My belly was definitely starting to pop as I hit the halfway mark. I got the chance to show off my bump at my 10 year high school reunion at the end of the month.

August

Baby S became Miss Crosbi Adelle when we publicly announced C's name. I entered my third trimester so I got a little crafty in the nursery and Todd and I took a quick trip to St. Louis with his parents. Our last getaway as a family of two. 

September

My belly continued to get bigger and bigger. Todd and I began weekly brunch dates as we looked forward to Crosbi's arrival and we threw in one last trip to Missouri to see family and have our maternity photos taken.

October

The month began with a baby shower thrown by friends here in Nashville. The fall was filled with several fun showers. We were so blessed to celebrate Crosbi's upcoming arrival with family and friends. October was a bit stressful as we were just weeks from meeting our little girl. So much to do in such little time. But we survived!

November

The month my life changed forever. Crosbi's due date came and went and we were getting so anxious to meet her. I struggled with the idea of being induced, but my prayers were answered when I went into labor naturally the morning of the 21st (more on that when I post Crosbi's birth story in the coming weeks). Definitely one of the best months of my entire life.

December

We wrapped up the year spending lots of quality time at home getting to know our little girl and settling in as a family of three. The month ended with Crosbi's first road trip of many to Missouri for Christmas.

Todd and I will look back at 2011 for the rest of our lives. The year God called us to be parents. The year we realized we are not in control. The year we were challenged and strengthened. The year we finally understood what love is. The year we grew up.

Thank you, God for this past year. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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Christmas in the Ozarks

Crosbi has been enjoying her first Christmas with family in Missouri. As I write this we're soaking in a little quiet time, just the two of us. She has met so many people over the past few days and while she's been a trooper, she has been a bit overwhelmed. So has her mama. I'm finally able to take a few deep breaths, look through some pictures and get back to my blog. It only took us getting to the last day of our trip for it to feel like a vacation, but that's okay. C is loved by so many people who just couldn't wait to see her. She is one blessed little girl.

Since we arrived in Missouri last Friday afternoon, Crosbi has spent lots of time with family.

She cuddled with Grandpa Dave and loved when he got out his guitar to sing songs to her. She especially likes Jesus Loves Me.

She met her Uncle Drew for the first time. It's so crazy that my 17 year old brother is an uncle, but he's a pretty great one. I have a feeling he and Crosbi are going to be buddies.

 

She also met her great grandparents for the first time.

Grandma Jo couldn't believe she already weighs more than 10 pounds!

She met her cousin Emerson. These two are going to be partners in crime.

She opened lots of gifts. So many that they won't all fit in the car.

 

But her favorite time was spent lounging in her slippers taking nap after nap, after nap.

 

 

Christmas will never be the same!

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Three Weeks

It's hard to believe my little girl has been in my life for three weeks. She continues to amaze me every single day. I have been unbelievably blessed. Crosbi is such a happy baby. At her last doctor's appointment, her doctor said to me, "What a relaxed baby!" I told my dad this and he said she obviously doesn't get that from me. It's true. She's just like her daddy in the best ways.

She's sleeping great too. Last night she slept for six hours, ate and fell asleep for another two and a half hours. How did we get so lucky? Even if she were waking up more frequently during the night, I couldn't complain. She never cries, just squeaks a bit until I make my way to her. The expression on her face when she first wakes up is my absolute favorite. I may be half asleep, but when I look at her I immediately perk up, kiss her sweet face and thank God for the incredible gift He has given me. One thing about late night feedings, it allows lots of good prayer time, and for that I'm thankful. Speaking of prayers, Allison gave me the best book: Prayers for New Mothers. I cry every time I read it, but it's so spot on for where I am right now. I can't recommend it enough.

As amazing as Crosbi is, there are a few things that I'm still trying to get used to. I wish I would have known how difficult nursing would be. Labor was a breeze compared to breastfeeding! I'm determined not to give up. We will get it figured out. I love being needed so much by my sweet girl and I know how good it is for her. Sooner or later we'll get it together.

Leaving the house is tough too. Todd and I attempted to get some Christmas shopping done last night. We made it to one store before I called it quits. I was exhausted, Crosbi was hungry. It was a bit crazy. I'll be so glad when she's on a better schedule so that I can leave the house more often. I'm feeling a bit trapped in the four walls of our home, but I know this will pass and I don't want to wish away this time with my girl.

Next week we head to Missouri for Christmas. Prayers are definitely appreciated! We need to survive a 14-16 round trip car ride and our efforts to give the grandparents equal time with Crosbi could get ugly. I've never been this nervous about a trip. A drama free Christmas is all I'm asking for this year.

I'll be back with C's one month update, and as we get into a better routine, I'll try to not make this blog "mommy central." Right now being mommy is a 24-hour job, but I don't want to lose the old me. We'll get it sorted out eventually!

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Big Day Out

My mom went home yesterday and Todd went back to work this morning. Needless to say, my morning started with a lot of tears. But Crosbi and I are doing great so far. It's not even 11am and I have a fed, napping baby and I'm showered and dressed for the day. Not a bad start. We're just both missing Todd like crazy.

Before my mom left, we went out on our first family outing. I had been wanting to go to the Porter Flea for months and had hoped it would be my first big trip out of the house. I'm glad we made it. We scrambled to pack Crosbi's bag and jump in the car, knowing the nearly hour round trip drive would take a big chunk of our time and C may not make it too long. Thankfully she proved us wrong. She did great in the car and slept the entire time we were out shopping. She definitely calmed any fears I had of getting out of the house with her. Once we get her in a better routine, we'll be out and about a lot.

A few photos from our trip to East Nashville:

Crosbi might have slept the entire time, but we were more than okay with that!

We're heading out soon for our first trip just the two of us. C has a doctor's appointment to check if she's gaining enough weight. The rain is pouring outside, making me a little nervous. Wish us luck!

*Update: I rescheduled the appointment. It's storming like crazy here. Not ideal for my first trip alone with my little girl. We'll try again tomorrow!

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What I've Learned (Week 1)

For someone who didn't have a whole lot of experience with babies, this past week I've taken a crash course in Babies 101 and my confidence is growing. Crosbi and I had an immediate connection and she has given me so much patience as I learn the ins and outs of being a mommy. While this past week has been filled with lots of rest, healing and cuddles with my sweet little girl, I've learned a few things along the way.

For instance, I learned a "Sitz Bath" is literally just a bath that you sit in. I would be lying if I said I didn't look for a box of Sitz at Walgreens. Thankfully I was in a hurry or I would have definitely asked the cashier where the Sitz was located. I'm so glad my wonderful nurse at the hospital filled me in. Who knew?

I invested in some great baby products. A few have made this past week so much easier than it could have been.

If you're a friend of mine, and you invite me to your baby shower, I'm probably going to buy you a Miracle Blanket whether you registered for it or not. Once Crosbi is swaddled in her MB, she is sound asleep. Twice she has slept five hours straight during the night. Not too bad for a twelve day old baby! This blanket definitely lives up to its name.

The Simplisse Gia Nursing Pillow has been great too. I was going to get a Boppy, but I did a lot of research and found so many great reviews on the Simplisse. It's angled design keeps Crosbi's head inclined so that I don't have to lift her head with my hands. She seems to love it.

The Itzbeen Timer has lived up to its hype as well. I'm not really sure what I would do without it. If you were to ask me the last time Crosbi has been fed or changed I would probably look at you with a blank stare. It has been so great to just look at this little timer and be reminded. Although, the reminders seem to get closer and closer together. I'll take a glance at the timer and think, "What? It's already time for her to eat again?"

More than anything, I have learned what nobody could have ever told me...how much I would fall in love with my little girl. I wasn't prepared to feel love like this. I look at her and my heart hurts. When I put her down at night, I instantly miss her. I don't want a minute to pass that I'm not with her. Everyone tried to explain this to me, but until I met her, I could never understand. She is my world. My fears of losing time with Todd have vanished. I see him when I look at her. My heart is overflowing and I thank God for this new place he has brought us. I'm so undeserving of joy like this. But I will praise Him and offer my thanks by loving the two angels He has given me well.

Alright, I need to stop before I can't see the screen through my tears. Plus I'm sure the Itzbeen Timer will be reminding me how hungry my daughter is soon!

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Hello World

Our lives officially changed forever on Monday, November 21st at 9:18pm. Crosbi Adelle made her debut weighing in at 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 19 inches long. She's a short little thing!

We are absolutely head over heels in love with our little girl. We can't get enough of her.

 

 

I have so much more to say, but don't quite have the energy yet to say it. I'll be back soon. For now, I'm going to go snuggle with my sweet baby. 

Thanks to all for your prayers, encouraging words and comments. We feel the love!

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The Waiting Game

For months I have stared at November 16th on the calendar. That date will forever be permanently stamped on my brain, so it's a bit strange knowing it passed us by three days ago. I really thought I might have this baby early. I'm not sure why I thought that way. My mom was a week overdue with me and my sister. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. These last few weeks of pregnancy haven't been the easiest. I know that's the case for every expecting woman. By the end, you're just ready to not feel pregnant anymore. I felt that way until my due date came and went.

At my last doctor's appointment, ironically on November 16th, we learned that I have still not made any progress. The baby hasn't dropped. I haven't dilated. Nothing. Zero. I haven't had one contraction. I thought I had experienced Braxton Hicks, but now I'm not sure I ever did. It may have just been Crosbi stretching out her tiny arms and legs all along. Yet, I'm scheduled to be induced on Monday night. My initial thought was, "Sure, that makes sense. I'll be five days late. No reason to keep stalling." But now my thoughts have drastically changed and I'm having an all out battle in my mind about being induced. I just don't want to force my body to do something it's not ready to do. My little girl may not be ready. She's safe and sound in my belly. My blood pressure is as close to perfect as it can be, she still has plenty of room to squirm around, and other than feeling huge, I'm doing fine. I just feel so torn. I trust my doctor and when he says he's not concerned that I haven't dilated, that I could still have a completely normal delivery, I believe him. But, I'm really starting to think I should let nature run its course and when Crosbi is ready to make her appearance, she will be sure to let me know. This has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.

Todd has been incredible. He supports my decision either way. I have an appointment on Monday before we're admitted to the hospital. If I haven't made any progress, I may have to give it another day or two. I have to be able to walk away if I don't feel comfortable moving forward. I'm praying for discernment. I don't want to make a decision out of fear of labor. I want to do what is best for by body and more importantly, my baby. Ideally, I would go into labor naturally and have the decision made for me.

To my close friends and family who keep up with this little blog, I ask for your prayers. Todd and I are praying that God will give us wisdom and discernment. This is one of the first big decisions we will make as parents, and we want it to be the right one.

For now, I'm going to wrap this up and spend the rest of the evening curled up with my husband. We have had such a great day. The weather couldn't be better. We enjoyed one final pre-baby brunch at Noshville, loaded up on our favorite things from Trader Joe's, and even stopped for ice cream. When we got home we were immediately back in our pajamas and back in bed where we have been for hours reading, napping and watching TV. Because we can.

Thanks for all of the incredible support during this crazy journey of pregnancy. Your encouragement has made even my hardest days a little easier and I have never felt so covered in prayer. I can absolutely say I have not walked this road alone.  Thank you.

I have a feeling my next post will be a big announcement that our little girl has entered our world.

Surreal.

Stay tuned...

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39 Weeks (and counting!)

I have done a horrible job of blogging this last trimester. For one, I've been awful at remembering to take pictures of my belly. I know I'm going to regret that. I was uploading photos and posted a belly pic from 38 weeks and realized the last belly shot was from 31 weeks. A lot changed during that time!

Todd and I have been staying busy. I have yet to experience the crazy nesting urge, but I have been wanting to get the house ready. The nursery is practically finished. The walls are bare, but I want to fill them with photos of Crosbi, so the "big reveal" may still be a few weeks away. I figure I'll have lots of time on my hands during my maternity leave, and I can get the room just the way I want it instead of throwing things on the walls just to feel like I finished it before she arrives. Add in the fact that Pinterest is daily giving me new ideas, I don't feel so bad in taking my time!

Yesterday I had my 39 week doctor's appointment. I was really hoping to have made some progress since I hadn't made any at 38 weeks. Unfortunately I was told again that I have not dilated at all. I'm glad friends had told me that being checked can be really uncomfortable. I went in prepared, but left sore and crampy. Just a sign of things to come, I suppose! Thankfully the baby is head down, she just hasn't dropped yet. I'm hoping the full moon tonight will be enough of a gravitational pull to get her in the right direction. We will see! I'm just hoping she's not packing on the pounds these last few weeks. I was nearly 10 pounds when I was born, and I'm not too thrilled about the idea of delivering a large baby. But more than anything, I just want her to be healthy. It's crazy the fears that can fill your mind as you near the end. I've definitely had a few breakdowns when I start to think about labor and delivery and meeting my daughter for the first time. It's really overwhelming. 

In other news, since I'm feeling fairly confident that I may go late, I've accepted the fact that I may spend Thanksgiving in the hospital this year. Because of that, I'm already getting excited for Christmas. It will be so wild to have a baby in the house this year. One of the things that always gets me in the holiday spirit is buying new Christmas ornaments. A few years ago I decided to go all silver and gold on our tree and I still love the way those colors look together. While shopping for ornaments isn't the best way to spend our money right now, I lucked out with a gift card and coupon to Pottery Barn and gave myself a little retail therapy. 

Plus, I had to get Crosbi her first ornament, right? 

Anyone else in the holiday spirit? Maybe I'm just needing a really good distraction these days!

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Girl Power

As the arrival of our little girl becomes closer by the day, I've found myself being more reflective. In my quiet time, I think about my hopes and dreams for my daughter and the woman she will eventually become. It's when I think about her future that I am in awe of what a great responsibility God has placed in front of me and I sometimes struggle with the fact that He has given me the task of raising her (along with her dad, of course!). I in no way have it together, and now I will teach this little girl from my experiences and mistakes. It's a bit overwhelming.

I've never really prayed specific characteristics over her. I want her to be exactly the person God has called her to be. I would love if she has her father's sense of humor and laid back outlook on life. I hope she's driven like me and chases her dreams even when it's scary. I hope she loves the outdoors and getting dirty like I did when I was little and that she has the athletic ability of her dad and the musical ability of my father. I hope she laughs a lot. But she may come into my world and be quiet and reserved like her mother, and instead of laid back, a bit high strung like me too. She may love pink and ruffles and cringe at dirt. She might hate the Cardinals (gasp!). But she will be uniquely her and I can't wait to get to know her.

While I don't pray specific traits over her, there is one prayer that seeps into my mind constantly (aside from praying that she will follow Jesus at a young age and be on fire for God. I want her to do big things for His kingdom). But after that, I pray she will have amazing girlfriends in her life. I know without a doubt that she will be shaped more by her friends than by me and Todd. I know this, because it has been true in my life. I have been so fortunate to have always been surrounded by incredible women. 

I'm excited for Crosbi to get to know the women in my life that I love like crazy and for her to seek her own similar friendships. My girls give me strength that I can't define. They carry me when I'm too weak to walk and they challenge me to be a better me. Oh, that Crosbi would have that.

 I can't wait for her to have sleepovers and a part of me can't wait for the day that I have to tell her and her friends to go to bed because it's 2am and they're still up talking and laughing. I want to be there for her when her friends turn their backs on her, and celebrate with her when God restores those friendships and makes them better than ever. I pray even now that God will place godly women around her as she grows and that she will love women and not feel the need to compete with them.

This week I was able to sneak away for some girl time with my sweet friend, Christi. We walked arm in arm and talked about our lives and what the future holds. I left strongly convicted that I can't let being a mom cause me to be so busy that I don't have time for my girlfriends. They are good for my soul. I know that Crosbi will see that and be encouraged as she grows to find her own group of girlfriends who make her feel more loved than she can imagine.

Sweet Crosbi, I hope you know that you have the freedom to be whoever you want to be. I pray that you will love Jesus with all your heart. That you will have a crazy passion for God and His people. And I pray that He would surround you with women that will enforce both of those things as He has for me. I love you.

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