Feels Like Fall

Fall is in the air and I couldn’t be happier. While October brought on some anxiety for me this year, it’s actually one of my favorite months. Every year I eagerly await fall and all the great things that come with it: cool weather, meals in crock pots, mums, pumpkins, high school football games, apple cider, trick or treaters, cozy TV nights with friends. The change in seasons has been good for my soul. To get into the season, we’ve been doing a few fall inspired things around the house:

We gave the house a fall face-lift. After taking the photos below, we did some major landscaping. I'll have photos soon.

We tried an awesome new recipe.

My good friend Allison gave me the recipe for Taco Soup (via AJ, a coworker of mine). I finally figured out how to link a pdf, so if you want to print the recipe and make it yourself, click here.

We baked some yummy chocolate-chip banana bread. I typically use Allison’s recipe (she’s my go-to for great recipes!), but I was out of buttermilk, so I used this recipe and added chocolate chips. 

This week is a busy one. Tomorrow I head to Dallas with this guy. He and I are BFF. Just kidding, but he really is a great guy with a huge heart. I only wish I had time to swing in to see Christine or Jen, but my time in the Big D is just too short. On Friday we’ll be catching a high school football game with good friends, and later that evening Todd’s family will arrive for a weekend visit. So yes, it will definitely be busy, but it will be lots of fun. 

I’m off to finish packing. Have a great week!

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Yesterday

"I just turned thirty, and I'm finally willing to admit something about life, or at least about my life, and it's this: I should have written in pencil. I should have viewed the trajectory of my life as a mystery or an unknown. I should have planned lightly, hypothetically, and should have used words like "maybe" and "possibly." Instead, every chance I got, I wrote in stone and Sharpie. I stood on my future, on what I knew, on the certainty of what life would hold for me, as though it was rock. What I know now is that instead of rock, it's more like a magic carpet, a slippy-slidy-wiggly thing, full of equal parts play and terror. The ground beneath my feet is lurching and breaking, and making way for an entirely new thing every time I look down, surprised once again by a future I couldn't have predicted." - Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

Beautiful flowers from my sweet husband

First, I want to thank my amazing friends and sweet readers who left comments, called and e-mailed. I heard from friends I haven't talked to in months. Maybe I should unleash my desperation more often! 

Second, the night I wrote my last post, I read a chapter in Cold Tangerines, titled "Writing in Pencil." I realized that I have done exactly the opposite of that in my life. Like Shauna, I'm constantly writing in stone. I don't want to do that so much anymore. I don't want another crisis/breakdown when I turn 30, 35, 40 or 50! I don't want to put unhealthy timelines on my future or goals that end up defining who I am instead of giving me a general direction to follow. I want to be flexible, because honestly, life doesn't fall into place like puzzle pieces. This year I want to let go. I want to enjoy the moment (something several of you lovingly made me realize I'm not doing). I don't want to get so caught up in the "What Ifs?" that I miss the Right Now. That's not an easy thing for me to do, but I want to give it a shot. 

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday with wonderful friends. Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I think about how loved I am. I felt especially loved last night. 

A few shots from the evening:

I'm really looking forward to everything this new, more mature age has in store.

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Birthday Stress

I’m not one to stress about getting older. In fact, most of the time I welcome it. I’m one of the rare ones who looks forward to turning 30. My whole life I have looked much younger than my age, and I can’t wait to see the look on faces of people who say, “You’re 30?!” I will respond with, “Why yes, I am a capable and mature 30 year old. Now take me seriously.”

But this year, I’m dreading my birthday. When I turned 20, I put a timeline on my future. Who does that? Apparently I do. The year I turned 28 would be a defining time in my life. I would be settled down; I would be climbing the corporate ladder; I would take steps necessary to become a mom. I would be a grown-up.

I turn 28 next week. A week from today. That number is glaring me in the face. I’ve been a monster to be around. Ask Todd. I feel overwhelmed, pressured, and not at all where I thought I would be at 28. I know that Todd and I have accomplished so much before this milestone year (buying our first house, getting grown-up jobs, etc.) But lately I’ve been questioning everything. Do I love my job? Is this what I want to do for 10 more years? 5 years? 6 more months? I don’t know. Am I ready to be a mom? I think so, but I’m terrified. It may take immaculate conception at this point. This birthday really snuck up on me and it feels like it’s me against my age.

I know it’s unhealthy to put timelines on my life – I know God’s timing is not my own (thankfully!) and that everything will fall into place when it’s supposed to. I do feel a natural shift in my desires and goals and I know God will carry me through. I just wish as a teenager I would have put 29, 30 or 31 as my defining year. But in the end, the things I fear are inevitable. I am going to get older. My priorities are going to change. And I’m going to be okay.

With age comes wisdom, right?

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Folly Beach

As I type, I'm sitting on a covered deck of the beach house that Todd and I are calling home until Saturday. The weather is perfect - not a cloud in the sky. At least a dozen dolphins just swam by in front of us.  I'm surrounded by the most amazing women, whom I'm blessed to call my best friends. All is quiet except for the sounds of crashing waves, Sarah Bareilles (and from inside we hear our husbands laughing as they watch Wedding Crashers). To call this a dream vacation really doesn't do it justice.

Below is a snapshot of our time so far in beautiful Charleston, South Carolina:

 

 

 

  

   
 

  

We're having an incredible time - and we have 3 days left!

Be back soon.

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Labor Day Lessons

Todd and I had an amazing time in Missouri last weekend. I don't know if there is a better time to visit the Ozarks than when the weather starts to get cool. Life just slows down a little bit. While we always enjoy our trips home to see family, this time seemed especially special. 

A few things I learned this Labor Day:

1. I've lost my game. 

    I used to be somewhat of a putt-putt pro. Not anymore. I came in a measly 5th place!

2. I will never get tired of this view.

    Todd's parents are moving to the country. I can't wait to wake up to this!

3. Great meals don't always need a recipe. 

    Todd's mom and I threw this together in about 10 minutes. 

    All you need is pasta, shrimp, olive oil, artichokes, garlic and sun-dried tomatoes.

4. Riding a Harley isn't so bad. 

5. I want one. Just like her. 

How was your weekend?

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