As we get closer to wrapping up our first year together, I'm learning so much about myself and my faith. I have written many times about how hesitant I was to start a family. Not just because I feared the hard work, I honestly just didn't know if I was interested. Some of the biggest fights in my marriage were over having a baby. Todd was for it, I was against it. I thought I was ready, Todd wasn't sure. There were ugly, screaming, crying fights. The most extreme was on our way to a dinner with friends. Todd and I got into a discussion about having children and I was so adamant that I was not mommy material. I even got out of the car to walk home. That is until other friends drove by and asked if everything was okay. Talk about humbling! (Susan - remember that??)
Now Todd and I often joke about that fight. He loves walking in on Crosbi and I playing and giggling and saying, "And you thought you didn't want kids." I am so thankful that God broke through my stubbornness and made me see what I was so blind to. As I look back, it was never about not wanting a baby. It was about fear. Fear that I wouldn't be a good mom. Fear that I would fail. Fear that my marriage would suffer. Fear tends to get the best of me. But Crosbi has shown me that sometimes facing my fears can bring about the most amazing joy. I hope she continues to make me more fearless as the days go by.
*Weighing in at almost 23 pounds and 29" long (as of her last appointment)
*Cruising around furniture, but no real walking yet.
*Dancing is her new skill. Girl loves to dance. She'll dance on command. It's hilarious.
*She's enjoying books so much. While she has always liked to turn pages, she is really liking being read to. She'll listen and look at me and smile at the "funny" parts.
*Da or Dada are her go-to words. If Todd leaves the room, she yells "Da?" Sadly I only get a "Mama" when she's upset. I'll take what I can get.
*Her favorite toy: my iPhone. I said I wasn't going to be that person who let her child be consumed with techy things. But she loves it. I'm choosing my battles.