September 20, 2012

Crosbi: 9 Months

Nine months. How did we get here so fast? This past month has been packed with emotions. I have laughed louder and cried harder than I can remember these last few weeks. I'm actually wiping away tears now. I just put you down for your morning nap and even when you're falling asleep you melt me. You laid on your back, with one arm under my neck so that you could play with my hair. Todd and I always joked that when we had kids, they would have to get used to affection because they were going to be kissed and squeezed nonstop, but you entered this world with that already figured out. You show more affection than just about anyone I know. I hope that never changes. Especially when you start school and kissing mommy and daddy is no longer the cool thing.

I literally thank God for you continually throughout each day. I have never thanked Him so much for anything like I do you. I think because I feel so undeserving of you. I didn't earn you through hard work or good grades. It wasn't that I knew the right people or was at the right place at the right time. You are a gift that God handpicked for me. I am learning so much about grace through you. If I had ever questioned God's love for me, that doubt was erased the moment you entered my life. If God loves me half as much as I love you, it's enough. But can you believe He loves me more than that? He loves you more than I love you too. Amazing, isn't it?

I have found myself praying fervently for my friends who dream of holding their own babies. My heart breaks and sometimes I cry so hard that I can't catch my breath. I want them to know this love. I wish I could give them a baby, but I can't, so instead I trust God and his sovereignty and know his timing is perfect. Even when we don't agree with or understand it. To my mommies-in-waiting friends, I'm praying.

Whew! Alright, I need to lighten the mood a bit.

Nine months. The stats.

*No idea what you weigh, but you have to be close to 25 pounds. We'll find out at your next doctor's appointment.
*You are standing on your own and climbing. I can't leave you alone for a second.
*You are an official foodie. There is nothing that you don't like. You tried polenta this week and loved it. I think the reason my baby weight is falling off is because I typically share my plate with you. Even after you have had your dinner!
*Sleep has gone a bit backwards. With teething came short nights. You have been consistently waking up around 2:30am. Throw in a trip to the beach where you shared a bed with us, we're a little off our routine and have become partial co-sleepers. I don't mind too much, I just hope we're not creating bad habits!
*You love the ocean. We were so thrilled that you enjoyed the beach. When the waves came up, you would chase them back out. So fun.
*You have two teeth now! I think those top teeth will be making an appearance very soon.
*You have so much joy. Belly laughs continue to fill this house, sometimes for no reason at all. I can't get enough of your giggles.

Love you sweet girl. Happy nine months!


  1. Motherhood is the most grueling and overwhelming set of emotions I have ever experienced! Co-sleeping is wonderful... trust me that it doesn't last forever! Again... I've said it before... She's an angel!

  2. Such a beautiful post, Tara. You're an amazing mother and friend. <3 <3

  3. Goodness gracious, could that first photo be any more precious? She looks so vibrantly happy. Tara, what I love about you as a mom is that you obviously have struggles, but you celebrate your little one in such wonderful ways. She is going to love looking back and reading your words one day. Crosbi is one blessed little girl.