January 30, 2013

Growing Like A Weed

It seems like I blinked and my daughter grew up before my eyes. The days of swaddling and tummy time seem like a distant memory. Crosbi is learning new things each day, and each day I can't get enough of her. My mother-in-law used to always say that when she had my husband she knew she would love him, but never realized how much she would like him. I can totally relate. It may just be Crosbi and I at home most days, but I've never felt lonely. Sure, I miss adult conversations and time to myself, but I've never felt alone. She's my buddy and she is so much fun.

While I decided not to continue with the monthly reports on her, I want to be sure I write down what my girl is up to these days.

She is talking so much. She says Mama, Dada, Bye-Bye, Hi, Ay-Ooh (thank you). Her favorite has to be No, which sounds more like Nee-yew. It's hilarious. And my favorite, Idd-tee (Itsy), for when she wants to sing Itsy Bitsy Spider. She can do the motions to the song too. Melt me.

Girl is a pro on my iPhone and the iPad. We now have to completely keep them out of sight or she has a meltdown when she can't play with them. We've created a bit of a monster.

I didn't use sign language with her as much as I would have liked to, but she signs "more" and "all done" at meal time. She occasionally signs "all done" when I'm changing her diaper. She's not a fan of diaper changes.

Bath time is a hit in our house. On really cold days when we're stuck inside and we've played with all the toys and crafts, she has swim time in the bathtub. She loves filling and pouring cups of water, and these days gets pretty upset when it's time to get out. At least I have a clean baby, right?

With the good comes the not so good. If she happens to have her paci when she gets upset, she throws it as hard as she can. Really, she tries to throw anything in sight. And it's not just things. She also throws herself backwards when she doesn't get her way, but after hitting her head a couple of times, she learned her lesson. Now she catches herself with her hands and throws herself in slow motion. Oh, the drama!

This is Crosbi doing her "scary" face. Oh, that child.

Loving these crazy toddler days!


January 16, 2013

His Promises

One of my New Years resolutions is to really dig deep into God's word. I briefly mentioned that I am participating in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this year, but it deserved more than just a quick mention. I am learning and growing each week as I study scripture. We're working through the book of Genesis, and while most are familiar with the stories in Genesis of Adam and Eve, Noah and others, there is so much more to take away.

For me, I am being constantly reminded that I can trust God's word and promises. In Genesis 15, God promised Abram, who at the time was in his late 80s, that he would have an heir of his own flesh. It can be so easy to read the promises He made so long ago, yet difficult to believe He would still makes promises like those to us today. But we must believe it.

And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. (Gen 15:6).

I don't think for a second that many people are reading this, but if you are, I just want to remind you that God is true to His word and His promises and He honors our faith in Him. While the verse above is to show that Abram was ultimately believing that Jesus would come from his lineage, I believe this story shows us that God fulfills all of His promises, big or small. Today I'm clinging to that thought. Years ago, God made a promise to me and two years later fulfilled it in my life. I'm believing today that this promise still stands and that there is no expiration date. What promise are you believing God will fulfill today?


Speaking of promises...

She's a pretty cute little promise if you ask me.


January 9, 2013

Fresh Air

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world. Psalm 19:1-4

This year is off to a really wonderful start. For starters, my sister just decided to make Nashville her home and officially moved to the Music City this past weekend. It has been so nice having her here. It has been over seven years since I've lived near family, and it's a little hard to get used to. I still catch myself saying goodbye to her like I won't see her for months, when really I've just gone a few hours in between visits since she got here.

Crosbi is pretty thrilled to have her here too.

In the last couple of weeks I have been reminded of how important it is to get outside each day. Crosbi has always liked to play outside, but now her outdoor playtime can make or break a day. I know if she gets the freedom to run and play and pick up as many rocks as she can fit into her chubby little hands, that we'll have a good day. I think life in general is that way. We can easily get caught up in our to-do lists, housework, and other demands of life. It's when we stop to let the sun shine on our faces and breathe in fresh air that we recharge. I was always such a tomboy growing up. My parents literally had to drag me inside at the end of the day. But as I've gotten older, I have lost that love for the outdoors. I'm so thankful that Crosbi is getting me out of the house and reminding me of who I once was, and who I can become again.

It also doesn't hurt that we've had uncharacteristically warm weather here in Tennessee. We're making the most of it before winter takes over.

January 1, 2013

Hello, New Beginnings

There is something really special about New Years Day. A fresh start. A new beginning. New Years seems to be especially comforting after the busyness and stressfulness of the holidays. We return home from visiting family over Christmas with our hearts full, but our bodies worn out and our heads filled with the fear that we inevitably let someone down that we didn't get to visit or didn't visit long enough. We're pulled in a million directions, all while trying to maintain some normalcy as we live out of suitcases. Adding a baby to the mix hasn't made things easier. New Years is a deep breath. A time to collect our thoughts, to say thanks for the year behind us and pray for the year before us. I definitely feel lighter (and I'm not talking pounds) when I see the calendar change.

This year, more than ever, I feel the need to simplify and change the way I have been doing things. Maybe it's because I'm 30, or because I'm a mother. Obviously I was a mother last year, but I was consumed in caring for a newborn. I didn't know what year I was in most days. This year calls for change.

I'm sure I'll try to stick to typical resolutions: organize, eat healthier, exercise, get our finances in check, etc. But this year I'm striving to make internal changes. I want my 30s to be the start of something big for my family.

This year, I'm resolving to...

Stand up for myself.
I hate confrontation. I would rather curl in a ball on the floor than speak my mind. I'm so scared of what people are thinking of me or what they might say when I'm not in the room. No more. I'm not going to apologize for who I am, how I think, or how I parent. Each day I'm learning and each day I will make mistakes. That is okay.

Know my Bible.
I know the big stories and key verses that mean a lot to me, but this year I want to really dig deep into the Word. I'm so excited to continue BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and to be challenged by scripture. It's extremely important that the Bible be the instruction manual for my family. I'm so thankful to have found a Bible study that gets to the heart of God and is not clouded in topical preaching or commentary.

Keep the past in the past.
Would my life be different if my parents hadn't divorced? Could things have been a bit less dysfunctional when I was growing up? Sure. But God knew how my life would play out. He knew I would ultimately choose Him, that I would grow to be an adult who would see that her parents did their absolute best. Even now when I think of the decisions my parents had to make, it's amazing to think of how young they were. My youngest sibling is just years away from the age my parents were when they had me. They were babies. That same grace I'm giving myself for being who I am is also being extended to all parts of my life - past and present. No apologies needed. The story of my life is all mine. With all its twists and turns. It's a beautiful mess.

Trust my gut.
I don't have all the answers. I never will. But I have a small voice inside of me that gets it right more often than not. Should I pick Crosbi up from her crib the first time she cries and bring her in bed with me? Maybe not. But I can guarantee she'll have plenty of other opportunities to develop coping skills. I'll read the books and the blogs, but when it comes to my family, I'm going with my instincts. Call me naive. Call me overprotective. That's fine. Again, that whole thing about not caring what people think - it's going to be a continuing theme this year.

Write it down. 
I want to blog more. It really is therapeutic. I often think of making this blog private, but I still want this space to be an open conversation to my friends and family. I love hearing that a cousin I don't see often has read a post or two, or when my mom comments on things she has read here. But I also want to journal more. I'm finally starting a perpetual calendar and I'm pretty pumped about it. I'm just adding a slight twist. Instead of just writing daily details, I want to write what I am thankful for that day. I'll consider it my perpetual thanksgiving calendar.

Today, January 1st, 2013 I am thankful for my healthy, happy little family and for my daughter sleeping in until 10am!

Wishing anyone reading this the very best in 2013.