August 8, 2011

A Minor Setback

No baby bump photos today. No photos at all, actually. Today I just want to get my thoughts out. I'll call it therapy.

This weekend was a rough one. I'm so hormonal and emotional that even thinking about it makes me cry, and the reality is that it wasn't all that bad. I absolutely don't want my blog to become a place where I complain, but I do want to be able to look back at the difficult moments and say, "I did that! I survived that!"

Saturday was almost perfect. Todd and I slept in and got a few things done around the house. My friend Bethany gave me two large bags full of little girl clothes that I went through and sorted by size. I was able to fit in a long nap and wrapped up the evening sharing an incredible summer meal with my closest friends. 

Things took a turn for the worse Sunday morning. I woke up screaming at 6:20am. I had one of the most severe cramps in my right leg that I have ever had. I was in so much pain that the details are still a little blurry, but Todd told me later in the day that I was screaming so loud he was sure I had woken the neighbors. Todd was finally able to stretch/massage my leg enough to make the pain go away. If that weren't bad enough, at 8:30am I woke up again. More pain. Left leg. This time I cried more than I screamed. I felt so helpless. I eventually cried myself back to sleep until I woke up about an hour later. When I got out of bed, I could barely walk. My legs were so sore that I couldn't put all my weight on them. 

Hoping that some breakfast would help, I made a bowl of cereal with extra bananas. They say potassium can help with leg cramps. Unfortunately heartburn and indigestion have decided to take a permanent home in my body, which meant my breakfast didn't stay down long. I walked out of the bathroom crying, having just gotten sick, walking on sore legs and sat on the couch by Todd. All I could get out was, "I don't know if I can do this." I was scared to go to sleep last night - worried that I would wake up to more pain. 

My husband is my hero. He massaged my legs throughout the day, loaded me up on Gatorade and encouraged me with his words and his amazing sense of humor. There is absolutely no way I could do this without him.

I'm feeling much better today. During moments like I had yesterday, the fear really starts to creep in. That's why I want to take just a quick minute to thank all of my friends and family who comment on this blog, call, text or e-mail me to tell me that Todd and I will be great parents. You have no idea what those words mean to me. During my hardest days those words carry me. I cherish them and read them or play them in my head over and over. They are gold to me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Enough complaining. I did it. I survived another hard day. I'm stronger because of it and I'll do it again for my little girl. I'll do anything for her.

I promise my next post will be more exciting. Baby Stepp officially has a name. Stay tuned!


  1. Sending lots of hugs your way Tara! I've had those rough days too and they are no fun! The good days will outweigh the rough ones but it is such a blessing to have sweet hubby's there for support!! Can't wait to hear what your sweet girls name will be!

  2. Tara.... all I can say is that despite how much pain, anxiety and stress that pregnancy and motherhood can bring.... there are people like me who do it all over again!
    Looking back, you will remember things like this... but looking at the sweet face and smelling that precious girl that came from it all will make the bad melt in the presence of utter JOY!

  3. I remember the pregnancy days and the ups and downs of my emotions. Especially with my first pregnancy there were moments when unexpected things came up and I became very anxious and concerned everything was ok.
    I had leg cramps with all my pregnancies (3) and what I had to do was get out of bed and walk around on it. I know that sounds like the last thing you want to do but it helped me. Of course I or my husband would rub my leg if it was a bad cramp. Increasing your potassium is a good thing too. Just a suggestion you may want to try. I hope you feel better and the cramps subside!
    p.s. I've never commented on your blog before but I have been reading it for at least a year. Congrats on the baby - what a huge blessing. Parenting is the best (but hardest) job in the world. There are challenging days but I wouldn't change being a mom for anything!!!

  4. Thanks for the advice, Michelle! You are a superhero for going through this 3 times. I have such a new admiration for moms.

  5. Tara, Watermelon! Has potassium cures heartburn! Try it! swears by it. She eats half every night b4 bed!