February 5, 2009

Crazy Love

I'm currently reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it's rocking my world. Well, actually it's turning my world upside down and opening my eyes to see how my spiritual walk has been more of a crawl lately. I have somehow let my blessings take my focus off the Giver of those blessings. Over the last couple of weeks I have found my mind racing before bed. Am I thinking about the people that have lost their jobs? Am I praying for those that are facing hardship? Not like I should be. I've been falling asleep thinking about what color I should paint my bedroom and where I should look for new curtains. I know there is nothing really wrong with those things - but they have become distractions. I think in a strange way, thinking about decorating my house makes it feel like all of the "bad" stuff isn't real. But it is all very real and my focus needs to shift immediately. Ironically I started reading this book the night of my Houston incident. God has my attention.


Chapter 6 opens with a prayer that speaks to my soul and I'm making it my prayer each day:

Oh God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. Oh God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. - A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God

So many people are in need and deserve my prayers. I got a text today that a family member just found out he has cancer. My sisters are away from the Lord. A close friend is facing a potential serious condition, the list goes on and on. I can no longer hide behind trivial things. Don't get me wrong - I still love my home magazines and the Pottery Barn catalogs that arrive in the mail and I will continue to blog about the great new styles that I see because I love creative things, but I can't let them be priority. I can't be afraid to face reality. Too many people are depending on my prayers.

2 comments:

  1. I love that your heart is so tender and receptive to God, Tara. I believe it is because of your desire to be used by Him - and to use the gifts He has given you - that He has poured out so much goodness on your life. And I know you're making Him smile with your desire to love Him more and to love those around you in His name.

    (I also love your creative and stylish side too, so I'm glad to hear it's not going anywhere anytime soon!)

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  2. now i'm curious. no joke, i read this and then came home and saw jeff was reading the book. his friend joe has just lent it to him. so now i'm going to have to read it when he's done. :)

    jeff also told me that joe wrote a review on it, so i thought i'd pass it along to you. Wrecked for the Ordinary is an online mag that jeff is editor for (it's a side project he started when he first started at AIM), so here's a link to the article from this wk's issue:
    http://www.wreckedfortheordinary.com/category.asp?category=community&filename=book-review-crazy-love . enjoy! - ash

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